It's Been a Roller Coaster

It's been quite the roller coaster this week being back in my hometown. I have struggled immensely more than I have 'enjoyed' it. I have witnessed one of the strongest women I have ever known in my life become very frail. From being so independent, still in her 80s mowing the yard, gardening, and tending to the flowers, gathering her staples from the grocery store, to church, the place she never missed and where she guide us grandchildren.  To now, its a struggle to eat without assistance, and understand just where we currently sit in the world [the hospital], and pain many of us couldn't endure. She knows there is a goal; to go home again. She knows there are hurdles to overcome,  but the will and the thrive to complete them fades without reminder and support. For me, its emotional, its exhausting, and at times very difficult. For her, it's a helpless feeling g we are not ready to accept. Thats is where the other side of this visit falls in. Those who I have known my entire life have taken the time to reach in various ways: calls, visits, text messages, FB, Messenger, and even saying a fresh hello passing by out in the town. You have all kept me going and for that, I thank you.

The town has changed, it is certainly not what it use to be. Most on the local shops have not survived. Only a few of the prominent jobs remain and the struggles for the next generations still exist. While our school system is stable, exposure to technology, in depth training for skilled trades, clear paths to higher education  and how to fund them all still remain a constant struggle. Many of the beautiful farms I have always dreamed of owning have become run down. Where they been left to those who have followed, they have chosen to leave them vacant for an easier and higher paying career in another town. It's sad really, our little town was always so vibrant in my beginning years. There were people bartering to get the next open shop on main street, now it's a struggle to keep a section of them filled, let alone all of them. Property values have fallen and the tax base to keep the municipalities running is a give and take for many of the projects needing to be completed. Even with all that has been said, I love out little town. To me, it will always be home. Today, even with very little recognition to the faces you pass or the names you see in the dwindling paper of out town, there is still a small town feel. A friendly hello to a stranger, a unique place to the fast pace world just hours away. There is the support for those who are ill, and neighbors helping neighbors. It's been the best way to try and support the rolling emotions these past few days.